Gym Babe or Gym Rats? The 9 Type of Gymgoers. Find out yours!

After going somewhat regularly to the gym, based on my power of observation, totally without scientific base I believe most gym goers fall into these categories:

1. Gym Rats
Mostly male over 30’s, mr. Universe wannabes or has been. Goes in packs. Likes to huddle in the weights area, egging each other to lift weights heavier than they actually can. Often this means 2 people are lifting at the same time since he can’t lift it on his own. Sometimes venture into the weights machines.

2. Cardio Lover
These are usually efficient people. They go in, put their stuff in the locker, go out, pick the cardio machine of choice -usually the treadmill- turn on their iPods, then off they go between 30 minutes- 1 hour. Afterwards they do some stretching exercises, may be tempted to go on a weight machine or two, but generally just go straight back to the locker, shower, get dressed, get out. Mostly exercise in the morning.

3. IFC – Instructor Fan Club
Usually female, they are loyal to a certain instructor but not the actual gym itself. Travelling in packs, they follow and catch his (it is almost always a male instructor) classes wherever they might be. Though good looking, his preference remains a mystery. Before and after class the IFC members flock to him and hang on to his every word. He usually teach yoga though he can also be found teaching cardio or dance classes.

4. Exercise Mania
In contrast to the IFCs, the EMs are loyal to the club taking classes after classes nearly everyday. They take at least 2 classes, know the schedules by heart and are not afraid to demand certain instructor for certain class. They are on first name basis with all gym workers and employees. Has their own ‘areas’ in the locker room.

5. Athletes
Almost like the Cardio Lovers except they do routines with the weights as well. They usually have the best bodies as the emphasis is on health and toning the muscle. Subtle definition not vulgar testosterones. Sometimes in twos but mostly on their own.

6. Wannabes
Perhaps too cheap to use a personal trainer, but too intimidated to hang out with the Gym Rats, the Wannabes are skinny, scrawny males trying to bulk up without really knowing how. They can be found staring at the Gym Rats or the Athletes when they’re doing their sets, then immediately copying whatever it is they did. Without proper training and supervision the wannabes could hurt themselves as they don’t know how to do the movements correctly. They can be quite amusing to watch though.

7. Gym Babes
Usually consisted of former M/A/Ws (Model, Actor, Whatever) but not limited to. Their uniform is to wear super tight fitness clothes they can find. They leave little to the imagination even when covered up. Like to cruise around near the Gym Rats. The male version don’t always wear skin tight clothes but they do their fair share of prancing around with an expression that says,”Look at me, I’m so cute!”

8. Equipment Hoarder
How to spot one? They’ll be the ones with their hands attached to the smartphones. They’d go on a machine, put the minimal weight, do half a set, stop, then get on the phone. Forever. They don’t sweat. Have no clue about gym etiquette.

9. PT Posse
They’re usually a variation of these; the super dedicated who’ll only exchange brief hellos with their trainer, concentrating solely on their reps and sets. Those who spent more time attached to the cellular rather than doing what the trainer told them to. Those who looks like they rather be working something out with the trainer. Then finally, there are those who yakked with the trainer whining about their weight the whole time. Their similarities? They always look like they’re in pain with the PT as the whip master whipping their butts into shape. Rarely seen without their trainers.

Thus conclude my highly unscientific classification.

Which group do you belong to?

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Things I Discovered During Cardio

1. Male models are generally buffed with 6 packs abs.

2. Most female models looks like they haven’t eaten in weeks and can hardly be called sexy when their pelvic bones are jutting out, except for Victoria Secret’s models.

3. Watching model’s bio is like preparing for a Trivial Pursuit game eg. What’s the capital of Austria? Vienna!

4. Britney S, Shakira and Beyonce’s latest video clips are disappointing for their lack of creativity. Girls, do you really still need to wiggle your butt in near naked costumes?

5. Music video clip decision maker must be still pimply teenaged boys that get overexcited but whose parents refused to subscribed to skinemax and playboy channels.

6. American football players look like little robots on the field.

7. Real football players looks amazingly sexy on the field. (Oh you gorgeous gorgeous Iker!)

8. Both play in any kind of weather, drizzling rain or heavy snow, but the footie players still looks better and more masculine.

9. Baseball is much more interesting when you watch it live on the field rather than on tv. (aaah… Nomar in his splendid Red Sox uniform!!!)

10. Tennis players and runners have the best figures, both male and female.

11. Lady Gaga’s costume is like geometry lesson for pubescent males. So, who can tell me what a triangle looks like?

12. Lady Gaga is actually quite pretty.

13. I really don’t like the gym rats. They’re loud and annoying.

14. My gym needs to sack its current musical director as they play really crappy music.

15. I need to invest in an iPod so as not to listen to said crappiness.

16. Running is more enjoyable when watching a series.

17. As luck would have it, the moment I have an iPod, they don’t show tv series anymore.

18. I still don’t enjoy running.

19. … but I do like the feeling after a proper cardio session.