Little Lies I Told

I should not be surprised
Cupid never promised
nor did Eros

No promises were broken
when none were made

A flash
a glimpse
ever so brief
ever so fleeting

And here we are

So let’s stop
let us just stop

I need to land
crashing as it may be

I have to land
wrenching as it will be

but I spun a web
To catch my hurt
to heal the ache

and I’ll wait
for Eros and Cupid
to fulfill
their promise


To my girl in need

Dear Girlfriend,

First of all, know that I love you. I love you and I want the best for you. So please don’t take this the wrong way, okay 🙂

Dearest, he is not the answer. Yes, you read that right. He’s not the answer.Let him go.

He’s just a sign that all is not right in your paradise. He’s an escape. He can’t help you, if anything he’ll make it worse. Don’t throw away your paradise. We don’t even know what his feelings are for you. For all we know, he just regards you as a friend. Nothing more.

Your paradise, now him, that’s the one you should be worrying. He loves you. That much we know is true. The thing is dear, relationship is hard. It is difficult and you gotta work at it. How could it be so difficult if your love each other? It’s because we’re human. We grow, we change, we’re dynamic and constantly evolving. Anyone who told you that love is easy is delusional. That, or in denial.

Love is never easy. It’s a constant battle. My parents been married for nearly 50 years and they still fought every now and then. But they also show me the rewards of being in love for that long. They are happy, healthy, busy, with solid working mind. Oh yes there’s sign of aging here and there, they are in their 70’s after all. My Dad is my Mom’s fiercest supporter and vice versa. If you cross one of them, then you’re messing with both of them.

So yes, it is normal to have problems. It is normal to feel that all is not right. What you need to do is talk to him, figure it out. Don’t run away from him. Don’t run to the other guy. He can’t do anything for you. He’ll just creates more problems and you don’t need more problems. If after trying it out you still can’t solve it then we’ll talk again. But for now, try it out. Okay.

with love,

The Exes Parade

I don’t get it when people talk about being friends with their ex-boyfriend, ex-husband maybe, particularly when there’s kids involved. But mere boyfriend?

I don’t have a lot, and while I no longer feel like harming them, nor do I feel any particular needs to be friends with them, even with those who parted amicably. It just seems to me that once you moved on, which I have, they then belong firmly in the past. Unless you have to work with them or has the luck of being their neighbor then I don’t see the need to be chummy.

Having said all that, I do think about them every now and then. I would be lying if I said I’m not at all curious about how they are now. Of course I do. They once occupy a big space in my life! And once they’re in my heart, they stay there even in diminishing real estate. I don’t want them to be miserable either, I’d want them to be happy.

Back then, the only way to find out was through the grapevine. These days you can snoop around to check their online trace. Mind you, if they’re Luddites or are not socmed freaks it could get a bit difficult 😉

So yeah, I confess, I’ve googled them. Some I find, some seems to vanished. Oh well. Those that I dead able to track seems to be doing ok. They seem to be where they want to be so that can’t be bad. Am I envious? No. Do I want their life? No. Is my life better? I dunno, I certainly have a good life, I’ve been blessed. Theirs? Just different.

I do believe it works out for the best in the end. I could probably do without the heartache but hey, that’s life right?

So my dear exes, have a good life. Take care 😘

Imaginary Lover

And I masked sadness with smile,
for I am not ready to lose you.
Not yet, not yet.

And I know that time is coming,
you were never mine,
and I, the fool that dare to adore you

I am I am playing with borrowed time,
toying with razor sharp blades,
at the ready at any given time

Scold me, mock me,
but tell me,
would you let this go if you could?

And I bet you that you wouldn’t,
fight me but you wouldn’t.
You’d stand with me and hang on precariously

Don’t hold me,
don’t kiss me if you can’t fix me,
and you won’t

Alas, alas,
such is my fate, my dearest,
I pick the short straw
with your name etched in the end

What can I do, what can I do,
but yearn for you?

Sleep well, sleep well,
let me dream for you,
mi amor

I know not how long this ledge will last,
so let me be,
let me be


The Heart Knows Not What It Wants

The biggest battle you’ll ever face is that between your heart and your brain. This occurs almost daily and all the time. Now, I don’t know about you, but I’ve been taught to put the brain forward with a bit of heart thrown in. I never really have much patience with those who allow their heart to rule. I always thought, get a grip! The funny thing is my best friend in college thinks that I’m an open book he said that I wear my heart on my sleeve for everyone to see. Hmm… really? 

To tell you the truth, some battle I win, some I don’t. I still haven’t won the battle to lose weight. I really am not sure why. Why is it so hard for me to change the habit? What’s with the constant self sabotage? It really is rather annoying. I am not at the point where I’m beginning to think that razor is a good idea, for gawd sake no! But nor am I on the path of slimness. The needle on the scale hardly budge to the left, more prone to the right.

Temptation is always sweeter than the righteous path; it is a self-destructive one in the long-run. I know this. My head knows this. Yet the heart refuse to listens. But the heart must listen. I do not want to self-destruct, I’m no spy, just an ordinary human.  So help me go through this hurdle. And pass it I shall.