Le Mort

As a Muslim, I do believe in mortality. I do know and realise we all have a finite amount of time, whether it is a day, a month or 10 years, we would kick the bucket eventually.

I’ve reconcile with that and taking steps to live a meaningful and worthwhile life but I’ve yet to reconcile that about others, especially my parents.Somehow you always think that your parents are going to be around forever. That they are gonna be there for you till the very end of days when an overwhelming statistic says otherwise. And you also always think that your parents are forever young. Somehow at most your mom is 50 yr old and that your dad is 60. But of course recent advancement in medicine and better lifestyle enables our parents to live much longer than that. Yet, there’s this little part of me that refuse to recognise that.

I am in denial about my parents getting older even as I am accepting the fact that I am. How is it I get older but my parents don’t? I still want my dad to be back in in his glory days where he could work for hours on end without any repercussion. I still want my mother to be as young as when I was a teen so we can go on trips for hours on end. But they are not. My father’s body can’t burn the midnight oil as past and he’s paying for it now. My mother walks slower and can only manage at most a 2 hour trip to the mall in which half of it is spent sitting on a cafe sipping teas and biting into cakes while pondering about life.

The truth is, I don’t have much time left with them. I already have longer than others. My husband don’t have any left. And I am dreading the day when it would be my turn. Given their current state, I probably have about 10 odd years left with them. But I have to accept that my children probably won’t have their grandparents when they are older, that they won’t see the bebes graduating or going to college or even got married!

In Biology class we once discussed how human, out of all the other animals are whose young are most dependent on their parents. That is so true. I may be independent, but I am forever mentally tied to them. Check my phone records. The same number would pop up nearly everyday. Sometimes even more than once in a day. I truly cherish the time I have left with my mother and father. I look forward to our weekly coffee time. I hug my dad everytime I see him and whisper my thanks for raising me. Never knowing whether this week would be my last or not. Of course I include them in my daily prayers. After all that they did for me it would be highly ungrateful to not pray for them!

Just love them. Hug them. Cherish them. Since really, that is all that you can do.

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