I am not one to look at things in black and white. In fact, most of the time I view the world through a grey tinted lens. My life experiences taught me that things are rarely as simple as they seems, most things are complicated and people rarely seems as they are which makes me takes most people, particularly new people, with a grain of salt unless proven otherwise.
However, sometimes things are simple. Things are black and white and that makes my brain unable to process the how and why. Recently I got a very bad news about my aunt. Though I knew that her situation was bad, I didn’t realise it was really really bad until yesterday. I rarely cry, yet yesterday I cried for my aunt. I can not imagine why someone could so such bad things for such simple reason. There was no complicated motive, it was so pure and simple. Greed. Money. At least that’s how it looks from here because all evidence points towards that. Money. Harta, duit, moolah, blings… whatever you wanna call it.
Of course living here and having processed the news for over 20 years I do know that people do all sort of things in the name of money, hence the neverending problems of our country. I do know people become corrupt because of money, power and women. I am not completely naive. But when it became close and personal my brain just can’t handle it. It refuse to process. Because what they did to my aunt not just criminal but possibly musyrik as well. While I am no expert, I have learned enough to know that some things you just don’t dabble in. This in particular… As someone who believe in God and in the afterlife I shudder to think. Why why why? Why my aunt? She’s so harmless. And that’s probably precisely why.
I really really feel like taking the sharpest knife from my kitchen and go to their house yesterday. You know that scene in that Jack Nicholson thriller movie? Where he’s a writer stuck in that hotel on the mountain, where he stab the door with the ax with that zinging soundtrack? Yah, I feel lika that. “Redrum redrum…”
I’ve calmed down now. Thanks to friends who listened and gave suggestion I feel a lot calmer now. My mother has a plan that once she set in motion would hopefully yield the wanted result. So with lots of prayers and a bit of luck I hope we’ll succeed.