A Question From David

When I was a fresher, a second-year called David Codrington asked this, “Do you just want to just follow the cycle of life? Go to school, get married, have children then die?” I remember just mumbling something incoherent for answer. At 19 and fresh at uni, my future thinking consist of whether I’m going to the Underground or just catching the latest flick next weekend (yes, I vaguely do have future planning of jobs etc, my secondary school teacher did a pretty good job about that). But now, at the grand old age of 31, I have a proper answer to that question.

Dear David, I actually did go in and join the cycle of life of going to school, to graduate school, then work. Then I found love, got married, have children and is now a full time mom to two lovely children. And so far it has served me well. I got lucky I guess. Or maybe it is just a case of preparing myself well. For example, while I love my husband very much I also know that marriage is not something you can take for granted. You need to work at it. You don’t just say “I do” and it will be happily ever after. No, it doesn’t work like that. To find happiness, you have to be willing to work on it. What do we like, dislike, what do we want out of life, out of each other? How we can compromise, what can we compromise? Sure there will be days you’d feel like packing it in, there’ll be days you feel like a princess. But as long as the two of you still share the same goals, ideas and ideals, (and he’s not abusive) it is worth fighting for.

As for career, it started out good. I’m pretty sure that if I stick at it, I’d probably be at a position that I projected myself to be. However, things don’t always go according to plan. I have kids and opted out of the rat race. I am not sure when and if I go back though I don’t close that door; never say never. But really, I have two beautiful, happy, healthy children and since so many can not have one of their own, having a child is not a right, it is a privilege. Thus, I don’t want to lose any of their milestones like being there to see their first time they can lift their head, roll about, crawl, sit, walk, etc. Besides, at work, anyone is replaceable. Some might be worse, some might be better. But my children will only have 1 mother for their entire life. Surely motherhood is a much more important job.

And about death… well, that’s about the only sure thing in life isn’t? So really, the question should be how well do you want to life your live? Is your live on earth going to be a beneficial, fruitful one? Are you going to make it better or at least die trying?

I would. I’d give it a shot. I have to.

Ok, so I may not have been married for very long nor is my children are all grown up. I don’t know what the future would be like, but I do know that there are others before me, who been through the cycle and have a pretty good life at the end of it. My parents’ marriage is still going on strong as ever. They have problems, they make mistakes, but that doesn’t stop them from living. Their offspring may not be the greatest achievers – none of us won the Olympics – but I think we turned out ok. If we keep trying to be a better person, I have good faith that my cycle could be just as good if not better.

So, to answer your question, yes, I would like to be part of that cycle. It is worth it. If you haven’t joined in, give it a shot David, you might just like it.

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